I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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