Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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