did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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