U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....