My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
