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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Public safety found my id!

  (248): View more from Michigan

  And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center

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• (607): View more from New York

  I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

  (315): View more from New York

  Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.

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