You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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