How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
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She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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