and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize