I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
