I never want to see another naked old woman again.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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