i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
