Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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