I am spending my child support on dildos
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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