True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard