Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.