Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.