the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her