New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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