You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
