I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize