You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
