xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I showed him my bush... on skype.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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