If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
