I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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