Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
