did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize