I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize