I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
someone get that fucking seahorse.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
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Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
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Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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