I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
