she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
