Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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