just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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