Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
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i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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