found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She needs sedatives and a leash
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
