I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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