I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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