I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
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Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
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My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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