Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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