So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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