Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize