whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
