Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
