So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
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I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
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First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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