I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
