Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize