Plan B is the new Plan A
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
