Don't you send me to vm
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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