When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
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I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
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I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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