i was born a porn star she said
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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