Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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