it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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