I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
