saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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