If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
