I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize